I have posted in an all together erratic fashion over the last few weeks. I missed my post on all but Facebook last week. I am tired and I want to form some new thoughts that involve something other than my current situation. It is like the proverbial Elephant in the room people in treatment talk about is more like the elephant sitting on my skull, I can't get out from under. Almost had me crushed a couple of times last week but this week I have managed to shoo it off to a safe distance for the time being. I am tired, up till somewhere between 1 and 2 o'clock last night trying to get chores caught up around the Poore farm so I could take an evening off. This rain and snow, will it ever end. If not for the promise of God I would be inclined to begin building a boat. It is one big sucking gooey swamp every where I walk. There is much to do, there always is around here. Dogs have to be fed but I must confess by the end of the day it just seems like it is too much of a bother to do anything but crawl in bed for me after a shower. Supper is a word lost to me for now. I have left off calling Sherry the last couple of days. Partly because the lateness of completing my chores and partly because I suspect she is tired of dealing with her own situation and trying to deal with me calling about whatever shows up in the mail. Two weeks here alone has me convinced that some things have not changed over the last 20 years. I am not a social person , but I am not a person who deals well with being alone except to say that it draws me deeper into being alone. A guy at work had a flat tire and I stayed to help him fix it after work. He thanked me for staying, and I had to laugh to myself, what else do I have to do but go home and work more, shower and fall asleep to Bill Mallonee tunes or Derick Trucks band doing I'd Rather be Blind ,Crippled and Crazy, indeed. Don't break out the prayer rug for me just yet there is grace for days like this. The suffering of the cross  was endured for days like this and makes all things possible. Hope that allows me to look at my situation as an outside observer because I believe in the greater reality of Christ. To sleep and sleep well dreamer , after all in the words of Scarlet O'Hara, tomorrow is another day.